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Real Madrid mutter and moan but Levante do the 'dirty' part well

Miss World reapplied her lipstick, puffed out her chest and sashayed elegantly towards him, hips swaying seductively, desire burning in her eyes. With the satisfied smile of someone who knows how this is going to end, the rich, handsome man in the impeccable suit watched her draw near … then watched her step dismissively past him, the sweet whiff of perfume briefly invading his senses, and fling herself into the arms of the ugly bloke behind. Last time it very nearly happened, this time it very really happened: the ugliest, poorest, most talentless team in Spanish football ended up kissing the planet's most beautiful woman and it felt right somehow. The impossible had been perfectly set up.

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