German national footballer Lukas Podolski can be sure not to hit the “Albert Hall” into the “beans on toast” this season after getting a crash course in Cockney rhyming slang from his new Arsenal teammates.
Former midfielder Ray Parlour has been teaching the forward, who signed for the Gunners in August, to distinguish his “loaf of bread”, head, from his “Barnet Fair”, hair.
In a video released on the Arsenal Player website, Podolski can be seen learning some of the most common phrases such as “apples and pears” for stairs, “trouble and strife” for wife, “dog and bone” for phone and “rub-a-dub” for pub.
The lesson then moves on to more modern variants like “Britney Spears” for beers, and “Fatboy Slim” for the gym.
It ends with a special section on football-related terms, which Parlour suggests he uses at post-match interviews.
These include “beans on toast” for post and “Albert Hall” for ball.
Asked to come up with a sentence, the Number 9 says: “I hit the Albert Hall into the beans on toast.
“I was at the Fatboy Slim with my trouble and strife. Now I’m going to the rub-a-dub for some Britney Spears.”
The tutorial is one in a series the newcomer will undergo to help him acclimatise to life in the capital.
