Winning Soccer Games 79-0 and 67-0 Will Get You Banned for Life

If you are going to go through the trouble of fixing a match, it's best to make the end result somewhat believable. 

The BBC (h/t Nick Schwartz of For the Win) reports four Nigerian football teams have been banned for life from their domestic league following two outlandish games that saw clubs win by the score of 79-0 and 67-0. 

"Plateau United Feeders were 79-0 victors over Akurba FC while Police Machine FC demolished Bubayaro FC 67-0."

The clubs were driven to such ends all in the name of promotion.

According to the report, Plateau United Feeders and Police Machine were level on goals heading into their respective games and wanted to make sure they stayed just one goal ahead by the end of each match. 

What transpired was scoring bedlam, and something that had to look obscene and ridiculous to fans taking it all in. 

Unfortunately, there isn't any video of either game, but Schwartz did spot this report that gives a breakdown of what is now being referred to as a scandal. 

Save your flabbergasted sentiments for the best part. BBC reports that the "Feeders scored 72 of their goals in the second half, while Police Machine reportedly scored 61 times after the break in their game."

One assumes each club went into the break and found out the other team was doing quite well in their game, so they decided to lay it on thick in the second half. 

Instead, they went above and beyond what any reasonable match-fixer might do, scoring at an outrageous clip during the 45-minute period: once every 37 seconds for Plateau United, according to Schwartz. 

It's enough to make you sit back and imagine the kind of madness that transpired. It wouldn't be surprising to find out the opposition just sat around watching goal after goal fly into the net while fans rolled their eyes off to the side of the pitch. 

The BBC's Oluwashina Okeleji paints quite the picture of players, officials and coaches doing their part in the deplorable scene. 

Some who attended the two matches reported incidents including questionable refereeing decisions, inexplicable added time and club officials rather than ball boys returning balls into play immediately after goals had been scored.

You have to work extremely hard to make it this obvious match-fixing occurred. Perhaps future teams attempting to pull a fast one might think twice and make the score far more believable. 

We might suggest something in the 40-to-50 range. 

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