World Football's Monday Morning Hangover: The Boys Are Back in Town

Welcome to world football's Monday Morning Hangover, a rip-off of the NFL section’s own Monday Morning Hangover so egregious that Mike Tanier is probably writing me a strongly worded email as we speak.

Anyway, this article will round up the key stories and important points from the last weekend in world football, with a particular (inevitable) focus on the Premier League. Let’s get into it…

Is Everything Back to Normal at Old Trafford?

It was dire straits at Old Trafford before the international break, yet now the golden days are suddenly back again. QPR might just be the year-round Santa Claus of this Premier League season—gifting teams confidence-boosting results everywhere they go.

A few weeks ago Tottenham were the beneficiaries, thumping Harry Redknapp’s side 4-0 at White Hart Lane in a result that sparked speculation that this might really be a new dawn for the north London club. Since then, however, they have lost to Liverpool (3-0) and drawn with Sunderland (2-2).

In that light, Manchester United’s 4-0 win is perhaps not quite the turning of the corner that many people are already proclaiming.

United manager Louis van Gaal was frank afterward (via The Guardian):

We have always to analyse what we have done. The result is fantastic but we can get much better. This is a good start. When you have a result of 4-0 then you can be happy as a coach but you always have points you can improve. We were very dominant and scored goals and kept a clean sheet.

United were indeed impressive, but it should not be ignored that they were “only” playing QPR, a team who have already shown themselves to be prone to a shocker this season.

But Angel Di Maria could only torture the team put in front of him on Sunday, with Daley Blind and Ander Herrera also catching the eye as Radamel Falcao’s late cameo only underlined the wealth of talent Van Gaal now has at his disposal.

After a stuttering start to the campaign, Van Gaal seemed to rule out a title challenge. Chelsea may already be fairly clearly out in front, but after the weekend’s results, United are suddenly only a point behind Arsenal and Liverpool and two behind Manchester City.

For Van Gaal, it seems everything is possible once again. The Dutchman added:

We are building a process, and we have to play in a certain style. We have to improve our qualifications, and at the end I hope to be manager of the champion of the Premier League. If it is not this year, then in my second year or my third year, but I want to give the championship to the fans.

United will need to produce a similar performance against superior opposition before they truly convince anyone but their own fans that such a target can be reached this term.

But it does appear the good times could soon be returning to Old Trafford—with their new coterie of expensive talents at the heart of it.

A Double Act Fast Becoming London's Hottest Ticket

Optimism may have returned at United, but they still must be looking enviously over at what Chelsea have already got going on. Top of the league with 12 points from a possible 12, Jose Mourinho appears to have the most balanced, well-rounded squad in the league—and the Blues are playing like that is the case.

On Saturday they overcame an early John Terry own goal to eventually roar back to a 4-2 victory over the previously undefeated Swansea, with Diego Costa grabbing his fifth, sixth and seventh league goals of the season.

The jokes in the aftermath might have compared the Spain international’s record to ex-Chelsea striker Fernando Torres (who, shall we say, took a little longer to score his seventh goal in Chelsea colours), but at the moment the ex-Atletico Madrid man is making even Luis Suarez look a little impotent.

Not that the £32 million striker is doing it alone, of course. Costa has seven goals, but Cesc Fabregas has six assists already—on Saturday also becoming the first player to lay on a goal in six successive appearances (going back to his last two games as an Arsenal player).

Already, the Gunners’ decision not to buy the 27-year-old back seems one based on misguided logic.

As it is, the Spanish double act will be a concern to all of Chelsea’s rivals—with Swansea not the first and surely not the last team that will struggle to cope with the movement and intelligence Mourinho’s group possesses.

Narrowly short of winning the title last season, the arrival of Costa and Fabregas seems to have moved the whole side into a different gear.

"The second goal is a brilliant collective action,” Mourinho said on Saturday (per the BBC). “[Cesc] Fabregas had a fantastic assist, and Diego put the ball in the net. Diego is a good player, but he is in a good team."

More Hair Than Afonso Alves and More Goals Too

When prolific goalscorers in the Eredivisie move to the Premier League for big money, the transfer tends to pan out in one of one way—the striker proving a massive flop as the higher quality of the Premier League and lower volume of chances quickly leaves them bereft of confidence (the Afonso Alves/Mateja Kezman outcome).

In recent times Luis Suarez seems about the only exception, the ex-Ajax man quickly finding his feet at Liverpool.

Perhaps that history of failure is why few were ready to predict big things for Graziano Pelle at Southampton following his summer move from Feyenoord.

Yet the 29-year-old Italian already has four goals for the club (three of them in the league), including two in Saturday’s 4-0 demolition of Newcastle (more on them later).

It is too soon to make definitive predictions (Ricky van Wolfswinkel scored on the first day for Norwich last season, then never troubled the statisticians again), but Pelle, like his club, already looks poised to surprise a few people this season.

Goal of the Weekend

Jeremy Menez, take as many bows as you want.

Goal of the Weekend: Runner-up Edition

Mathieu Valbuena, unfortunately this week you are only the second-best French goalscorer going. Try harder next time.

Random Asides

• What were Real Madrid thinking letting go of Angel Di Maria? Or Xabi Alonso?
  
  
• If a Danny Welbeck shot hits the post, was it a great effort or another example of his lack of a finishing touch? According to Twitter, both.
  
  
• Alan Pardew has seemingly been holding on to his job at Newcastle by his fingernails; it will actually be a surprise now when he is finally given the boot. But after his players seemed almost unconcerned about even trying on Saturday at St Mary's, a judgement day must be nearing. Also, some of his excuses are great.
  
  
• Leicester City, with Leonardo Ulloa in form, look like they have the talent to survive comfortably this season.
  
  
• Did Brendan Rodgers’ comments about Daniel Sturridge’s injury backfire? Without the England striker, Liverpool looked short of a bit of confidence as Villa stole the win.
  
  
• Spurs will announce their new captain on Monday, but if they had any natural leaders in their squad, we would surely already know by now. Mauricio Pochettino seems to lack an on-pitch general he can rely on, as Sunderland grabbed a draw at the Stadium of Light.

Age Eventually Comes for Us All

Two bona-fide Premier League legends endured horrible experiences this weekend, a reminder to us all that no one can continue at the highest level forever.

Rio Ferdinand might currently be making headlines for some of the stories in his forthcoming autobiography (a book heinously titled "#2sides"), but it is his performances on the pitch that are the real cause for concern at his current club.

Ferdinand was signed by QPR to provide some experience and pedigree to Harry Redknapp’s defence, but—not for the first time in Redknapp’s history—it appears to be a case of a club mistakenly signing a player on what he has done rather than what he can still do.

Ferdinand returned to his former club Manchester United on Sunday and looked off the pace and out of touch, as he did for much of last season when he was in United colours. Age has made him a pale shadow of the brilliant player he once was, and he may even be a liability in QPR’s more modest lineup.

Something similar can be said for Frank Lampard—perhaps Manchester City should have considered more deeply why Chelsea would willingly release one of their greatest-ever players before drafting him on a temporary basis.

The answer, evidently, was Mourinho-esque in its clinical and unsentimental nature; he is simply no longer good enough to play at the very highest level.

City, equally evidently, thought the Blues might be wrong in that assessment. But Lampard made his first start for the champions at Arsenal on Saturday and only lasted 45 painful minutes before being withdrawn from the fray.

He may still be able to fulfil a role as a body in Manuel Pellegrini's squad rotation, but we are surely unlikely to see him in a big Premier League match again.

Sound the Alarm

Let us already start worrying about the survival chances of the following teams: Crystal Palace, Burnley, West Brom and QPR.

The good news: That is four teams, meaning one of them has to stay up no matter how tragic they all are over the course of the campaign.

The bad news: It might be a long, depressing season for all of them before we reach that point.

Crystal Palace’s troubled start to the season has been well-documented, but one point from home games against West Ham and Burnley (and it could have been zero, but for Julian Speroni’s brilliant penalty save) should set alarm bells ringing.

That might be harsh on Burnley, who have started the season in encouraging fashion, but they surely need to get their first win on the board sooner rather than later to build some confidence of their own.

West Brom look pretty limited under inexperienced new manager Alan Irvine, despite the pedigree of some of their players.

And then there is QPR, an expensively but hastily assembled mess of a squad that is currently playing in exactly that sort of fashion. After throwing good money after bad in the club’s previous relegation season, has Tony Fernandes made exactly the same mistake once again?

Palace excepted (for obvious reasons), Tony Pulis might find himself approached with a few offers before too long...

Other Points of Note from the Weekend

The target on Balotelli’s back: Mario Balotelli will have to get used to the treatment he received in Aston Villa’s surprise 1-0 win at Liverpool—the Italian getting a good kicking from Philippe Senderos (on and off the ball) in an attempt to engage his famously unpredictable temperament.

Balotelli did not have a good game—in truth, no Liverpool player did—but the fact he did not react to the provocation will have pleased Brendan Rodgers. You sense it is the sort of self-restraint he will continue to need as other clubs try the same trick.

Keeping Aguero fit key for City: Manchester City would perhaps have cruised to the title last season had they had Sergio Aguero fit for the entire run-in, but the Argentine was instead derailed by a muscular problem that also affected his World Cup.

Aguero has been carefully handled so far this season, yet his early goal against Arsenal on Saturday was already his third of the campaign. It underlined his clear quality—he must be the best all-round striker in the league, as good as Diego Costa has been so far—but his second-half withdrawal underlined his continued frailty, too.

Having allowed Alvaro Negredo to leave on deadline day, and with Stevan Jovetic seemingly always injured, City’s chances rest on Aguero’s frame as much as anyone’s this season.

Wilshere and Ramsey not quite in tandem: Aaron Ramsey has been Arsenal's golden boy for much of the last 12 months, but on Saturday it was Jack Wilshere who stepped up and dominated the game for his side, as Ramsey (who admittedly provided the assist for Wilshere's equaliser) took something of a back seat.

The two youngsters have not quite worked out how to dovetail effectively as a partnership; if they can, Arsenal will have the formidable midfield unit Arsene Wenger has long hoped for. He still needs to work out what is wrong with Mesut Ozil, though.

Monday Night Football: Hull City vs. West Ham

Hardly a thriller for the Monday game, but they cannot all be winners. Hull are unlikely to be able to call upon new signing Abel Hernandez (who is still finalising his work permit) but may find a place for both Hatem Ben Arfa and Gaston Ramirez, depending on their fitness.

The Hammers, meanwhile, could well add Alex Song to the mix—adding some class (if a questionable attitude) to a midfield that already has experience in the form of Mark Noble and prodigious potential in the form of the giant Cheikhou Kouyate.

Both these sides could surprise a few people this term, with a top-half finish a not-unrealistic aim for either. That does not necessarily mean this game will be on for the ages, but there should be something here and there for the purists to admire.

Prediction: Hull City 1-1 West Ham