Are Chelsea Completely Paranoid, Delusional, Or Both?

Chris Wright

18th, March 2015

20 Comments

By Chris Wright

“9/11 was an inside job man! The CIA killed Kurt!”

Strap yourselves in folks, it’s tin-foil hat time at The Bridge again.

Tying in nicely with the paranoid sense of authoritarian collusion which has been percolating away nicely at Chelsea over the past few weeks and months (years?), an article entitled “Penalty Puzzle” has appeared on the club website this afternoon.

Using graphs and charts, the article openly complains about the “abnormally low” number of penalties Chelsea have been awarded in the Premier League so far this season – which is two, in case you were wondering.

As stated, both Man City and Arsenal, the teams second and third in the table and Chelsea’s closest title rivals, have been awarded seven spot-kicks apiece in the same time frame – the joint highest amount in the league.

You see what they’re digging at here?

Eden Hazard is, as the article is quick to point out, the Premier League’s most fouled player

The author (Hi Jose!) then goes onto to list several instances wherein Chelsea have been denied supposed stone-wall penalties, including one from their very first league game of the season against Burnley in August (a game they won 3-1) as if it’s had any bearing on anything.

Usually we’d pay such obvious whining no mind, but it’s so strange to see it coming from an official club source – the main official club source, in fact.

As we said, it’s also a little unsettling just how comfortably it all ties in with Mourinho’s little ‘conspiracy’ complex – more prevalent than ever as we move into the season’s final throes.

Of course we, as well as any right-minded fan, shouldn’t really give any credence to anything that comes out of Jose’s mouth.

It’s all propaganda, carefully engineered to create a very specific dissonance between Chelsea and officials as well as stoking the “Helms Deep” siege mentality that his largely unlovable team thrives on.

He wants to be his players’ one and only line of defence from all the bad things that the world outside is trying to do to them. What a burden to bear.

Here’s a fresh, exciting point of view: Maybe if Mourinho’s poor, hard-done-to side actually focussed on scoring real goals instead of fishing for penalties, these “abnormally low” numbers wouldn’t prove much of a concern for anyone involved.

Just a thought.

Posted in Chelsea, Managers, Newsnow, Opinion

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20 Comments

  1. Sleek says:

    Ur ideas re only one sided, truncated and biased. Some ppl are just bent on runnin others down. I ld lyk 2 speak objectively ur tots are baseless

  2. EyesWideShut says:

    This will end in tears for Chelsea. Brilliant entertainment tho. Game of the season Bradford knocking Chelsea out. Honestly thought Chelsea would go on to win the Champions league but got a strange feeling they will bottle the league title due to this campaign protest.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you, goes the saying.

    The fact that you didn’t manage to point out where the lie is, makes this article very unnecessary. 2 PK in 28 games is Ridicilous for a team that has so many dribblers and has the ball the majority of the time. Something is not right.

    • Chris says:

      @Anonymous: You’re implying that there’s a mandated ‘penalty:games played’ ratio.

      If you get ’em, you get ’em. If you don’t, you don’t.

      Just despise seeing good sides taking the easy way out (Chelsea are far from alone) and going fishing for penalties instead of actually creating goal-scoring opportunities in open play.

  4. Steve says:

    Well said Sleek, totally agree. Author has a clear blatant anti CFC/Mourino agenda

  5. Paranoid Android says:

    Since when did having an anti-Chelsea predisposition become a bad thing?! It’s a sign of good mental health.

  6. P says:

    @Steve & @Sleek : I think you guys are on to something…Maybe Chris is actually head of the PGMOL and this is all part of a grand scheme to drive Mourinho batty and henceforth out of the EPL…

    Every time an article on this site pokes fun at, or calls bullshit on any EPL team people start crying biased reporting and hidden agendas. Silly.

  7. Kingsland101 says:

    All you naysayers when it comes to Chelsea being ridiculous…fuck off! I’m a Saints fan and we’ve had the least penalties awarded to us (1, maybe 2). The most stonewall penalty I have seen all season is either Saints v City when Fonte took out Aguero, no penalty given, or
    Long when he got taken out by the keeper aginst possibly WH? Again no Pen.

    We (Saints) should have had way more, and from a fans experience, so should City. If you are actually following the action rather than paying attention to media, there is no agenda against Chelsea. Costa could have got a few more, granted, but you can’t blame refs for not giving them, seeing as he’s a diving shitbag. If you win games by surrounding the ref/diving when you could just dominate anyway with your far superior league team and you choose to play like a that then you deserve all the bad decisions you get.

    As you can probably tell this is pissing me off.

    You reap what you sow.

  8. Jarren says:

    I fully expect Mourinho to storm onto the field at the Emirates / Etihad / Anfield / Old Trafford on the last game of the season if a penalty is given for the home side.

    “YO ARSENAL (or applicable team), I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU AND IMMA LET YOU TAKE YOUR PENALTY, BUT CHELSEA SHOULD HAVE THIS”

    …to which the ref will hopefully kick him square in the bollocks.

  9. Chris says:

    FA should make them take it down…show some strength. Even chelesa fans would be cringing.

  10. Jim says:

    Even if everything they claim is true, it’s unbecoming for a ‘big club’ to bring up this Calimero level of whining about unfairness. All this creates is an environment where people want them to be treated unfairly.

  11. Johnson says:

    The author is just butthurt because he’s a gooner. If you go back to the archives, you won’t see a single chelsea post that isn’t anti-chelsea

  12. Rob says:

    Steve, you actually understood what Sleek said?

  13. Eeny says:

    Funnily enough, the article fails to mention how many of those penalty “chances” were dives. I could understand the bitching and moaning if they were in any position other than top of the league, but they are currently 6 points clear with a game in hand. What were they hoping to achieve?

    Perhaps spend less time diving, hassling the ref, and trying to get people sent off, and focus instead on playing exciting football with a team of talented and world class players.

  14. squiggle says:

    It’s nonsense, of course, but I don’t think it’s carefully engineered.

    There’s probably some attempt at mind games but the truth is more likely to be that this is how Mourinho actually thinks. He did this sort of thing at Real Madrid even when it was obviously counter-productive. He can’t help himself anymore.

  15. Jared says:

    In response to the Saints supporter earlier — how about Spurs a couple years ago when we were awarded ZERO penalties over the entirety of a season? The funny thing is that it may have some correlation to what Jose doesn’t want to believe.

    That is, that was Bale’s heroic last season for us and he racked up about as many yellows for diving as he had goals. So, could more well-known diving actually hurt your chance to earn more stone cold pens? Seems like it but that’s hardly a conspiracy.

  16. Jarren says:

    @Rob: Haha, priceless!

  17. Puffy says:

    Great stuff, Mr. Wright. As always !

  18. stevenR says:

    Well said sleek??? WHAT did sleek say actually? Thght hs phne ws in hs pokt…

    Chelsea are cry babies. All hail Mighty Zlatan!

  19. Kingsland101 says:

    @ Jared. Spot on. Although to be fair somehow United get away with it, or have done until recently. Now that could have been viewed as a conspiracy, and was by most fans except Utds, who have no had to acclimatise themselves to the real world of competitive football.

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