The 50 Best Soccer Fails
Zachary D. Rymer@zachrymer
MLB Lead WriterNovember 27, 2010The 50 Best Soccer Fails
"The 50 best soccer fails" has the capacity to ruin your work day. And if you happen to be at home, it has the capacity to make your family think you've gone mad with laughter, as surely there's no other explanation for what is going on behind that closed door.
We know this because it happened to us when we put this slideshow together. Indeed, from goalkeeper fails to missed goals to shots to the groin and face to epically bad and poorly timed celebrations, soccer fails are one of the funniest things the internet has to offer.
Here are the top 50 soccer fails of all time.
50. So Much Fail...
There is way too much fail in this video. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's an optical illusion.
48. Dude, This Is Your Job!
Honestly, how can you make it that far in life and still suck this badly?
46. Darth Vader 'Forces' The Penalty Kick
Because it has Darth Vader in it.
Honestly, what more could you ask for?
43. Groin Shots FTW!
While there will be plenty of individual shots to the groin ahead on this list, here's a nice little appetizer.
42. Slide Tackle Win
It may be a fail of a slide tackle, but it's a win as far as pain is concerned.
41. Take That!
When emotions boil over, kick the other guy in the nuts.
I'm pretty sure that's a direct quote from both the Ten Commandments and the Bill of Rights.
40. Never-Ending Slide Fail
I wonder at what point this poor guy thought, "Oh no...".
39. Take It From This Guy, You Don't Want To Charge The Pitch
Video evidence that footballers will only tolerate your shenanigans for so long.
38. Celebration Faceplant
There's no better way to celebrate success than to fall on your face.
36. The Finger Of Death
Either Tanaka Marcus Tulio has an absolutely epic pointer finger, or that guy suffers from a serious case of Tanakamarcustuliofinerpointerphobia.
Of course, if you also suffer from this rare phobia, I'm sorry if I offended you.
34. Soccer + Karate = Fail
A word to the wise—you should always give somebody doing karate a 20-foot perimeter.
After all, as the poor guy in this video can demonstrate, your face it always as risk.
33. Goalie Uses His Face
Just because the goalie is allowed to use his hands doesn't mean he shouldn't use his face as well.
Hey, it worked for this guy.
32. Ugly Kick In Face
If you've ever been kicked in the face, you know how terrible it is.
Now just imagine being kicked in the face by a dude wearing cleats.
Wait, never mind. Just watch this video.
30. Showboat Fail
Even if they counted style points in soccer, this guy would still fail.
29. Worst. Celebration. Ever.
If you can watch this without facepalming, let me know and I'll send you your prize: a slap to the face.
28. Sportsmanship Fail
Soccer can be nasty. Fact.
And this is beautifully illustrated here.
27. Parade Fail
True, there's not a soccer ball in sight in this video.
But it does feature a German soccer fan failing epicly. Good enough in my book.
26. I'm Going To Kick You In The Face!
It comes about midway through the video. When you see it, you'll cringe.
24. Open Goal Fail
Apparently, it's not that easy to put the ball in a wide open goal while on a breakaway.
Let's face it, you almost have to try to fail this badly.
23. What Did The Five Fingers Say To The Face?
This is another video that has been on the Internet for quite a while now, but it never gets old.
True the guys are on the same team, but this is still hilarious.
22. Asamoah Gyan PK Fail
This came moments after Luis Suarez's own fail as he committed a hand ball inside the box.
Believe it or not, this is not the biggest fail from the 2010 World Cup.
21. Robert Green World Cup Fail
This is hands down the biggest fail from the 2010 World Cup.
I remember watching this at a party, and our consensus reaction was not, "Hooray for America!" It was, "Haha what a loser!"
Next stop on the Failboat: England.
20. Epic Ball To The Chops
The worst part about watching this is the sound the ball makes when it hits that poor girl's face.
I would have hit the deck too. In fact, Superman probably would have hit the deck.
19. Choreogaphed Celebration Fail
Next time these guys want to choreograph a celebration, they might want to remember how the game is played.
What a bunch of failures.
18. Attack Hug Fail
Sigh ... there's always that one geeky kid who tries to celebrate with the cool kids every time one of them does something awesome.
But hey, at least this geek made it to the pros though I honestly wonder how long he stayed after this little stunt.
17. Judo Kick!
This may constitute bad soccer technique, but it's still pretty awesome.
In fact, this barely counts as a fail. Anybody who can pull off a move like that on a soccer field is a real BAMF.
16. Double Complete Soccer Fail!
There aren't many soccer videos out there that contain double fails, and this one is just epic.
15. Crotch Vs. Crossbar
Taking a shot to the groin from a pair of cleats is one thing, but this is actually painful to watch.
In fact, I'll be right back. I need an ice pack.
14. Soccer Fan Fail
We've all seen some pretty good fails involving foul balls in baseball, but I guess it happens in soccer too.
13. Groin Kick Win
We've all taken our shots to the jewels, to be sure. But few people on earth have had the pleasure of taking a shot to the groin from a guy who kicks for a living.
12. Posthumous Dive
How bad is this dive?
Well, he didn't fool the commentators, and he didn't fool the ref. In fact, he's the one who gets penalized.
And after watching this I desperately want to find myself in a scenario where I can say, "he went down almost posthumously."
11. No Oscar For This Guy
It's a shame that we don't get to see the flop that precipitated this performance.
As it is, this guy is awful.
But hey, he would probably be playing for the Lakers right now had he pulled off a flop of this magnitude.
10. Goalie Fail II
I can totally relate. They used to make me play goalie because I had problems kicking the ball.
But even I never failed this bad.
8. Khalid Askri Humiliates Himself
Not sure why the uploader decided to call Khalid Askri the "unluckiest goalkeeper ever."
After all, this is just plain bad.
But it's also hilarious.
7. Medic Fail: Falcon Kick!
Last I checked, soccer medics aren't supposed to make injuries worse.
But credit where credit's due, this guy can do a hell of a falcon kick.
6. Khalid Askri Happily Lets It Go
Khalid Askri may be unlucky, but he's just plain stupid here.
But his fail is our win. Thank you, Khalid.
5. Medic Fail II
These guys look like they're auditioning for The Three Stooges.
4. Crossbar Ricochet Fail
This one is almost as old as the internet itself, but it's comedy gold.
3. Soccer Ball Vs. Construction Site
I'm not sure I buy whether or not this video is even real, but I'll be damned if it's not funny.
Who knew that a soccer ball could be a WMD?
2. PK Kick Fail, Goalie Win
First of all, this is some tremendous goalkeeping.
Second of all, that had to hurt.
While I don't mean to make light of that guy's broken face, I must have watched this video about twenty times in a row when I first saw it. And then I sent it to everybody on my email list, including my grandmother.
1. Trick Throw In Fail
This could be the most infamous soccer fail video the internet has to offer, and it's a classic.
The fail in question happens about 20 seconds into the video.
Wait for it... (counts to 20)... Boom!
Congrats, trick throw in guy, you're number one!