Arsenal FC: Forget Cesc Batman, We've Got Robin Van Persie

In a miserly, ill-lucked and injury-stricken city like Arsenal Gotham, a certain individual stood out to bring his own football justice in a special way from 2003 to 2011. The Police football team always called on him in times of trouble and he always delivered. In his time at Arsenal Gotham, Cesc Batman scored 57 goals, gave 100 assists and served the city in 303 occasions.

The Chief of Police of Arsenal Gotham, Commissioner Arsene Gordon gave Cesc Batman the captaincy keys to the city in November 2008. However, Cesc Batman lost his zeal for Arsenal Gotham after going to play in an intergalactic World Cup tournament with fellow Spanish aliens like the Green Pique Lantern, Wonder white-faced zombie Iniesta, the Martian Xavi and Captain Puyol the first Avenger. Superman Messi and the rest of the members of the Barcelona Justice League convinced Cesc Batman to forget Arsenal Gotham and join their league.

While at Arsenal Gotham, Cesc Batman had a masked sidekick simply known as Robin and they fought countless battles together even though Robin was shot in the leg multiple times. In the time of Robin’s unfortunate injuries, Cesc Batman fought alone but now that he has departed for the Barcelona Justice League, Commissioner Arsene Gordon has handed the captaincy keys to Robin.

Robin has grown to become a better superhero and he has led Arsenal Gotham to higher heights despite a stuttering start to the campaign. Robin has smashed in an impressive 34 goals in 38 games this calendar year and new superheroes like the Verminator, Aaron Rambo and the fleet-footed hero known as Theo Flash have joined the party to become figureheads in Arsenal Gotham this season.

Forget about Cesc Batman, we’ve got Robin and here’s one of the reasons why:

Arsenal hosted West Brom in the Premier League after the draw against Marseille and Arsene Wenger made a few changes to the side that played in midweek. Laurent Koscielny replaced Per Mertesacker in the heart of the defense while Arsenal’s man on fire replaced Park Chu-Young to spearhead the attack.

The game started tentatively for the Gunners but it seemed as if it was bloodbath in England as Thomas Vermaelen left his trailing boot on Jonas Olsson’s face. At the same time in Ewood Park, a collision between Ca$hley Cuntly Cole and his goalie left Petr Cech with a blood-stained nose.

Aaron Ramsey started a delightful move that saw Theo Walcott go clear of the defender marking him. Ben Foster made a good save from Walcott’s effort but the ball sailed aimlessly to the wrong player as Robin van Persie scored his easiest goal in 2011 with a simple right-footed finish from less than six yards out.

That was his 11th goal in Arsenal’s 11th league game and the last player to achieve such a feat was the K-legged JimmyFloyd Hasselbaink of yesteryear. Arsenal went two up when Alex Song flicked the ball to van Persie who drilled it into the box arrived at Thomas Vermaelen’s feet, with the Verminator wasting no time in dispatching his ninth goal in Arsenal colors.

That effort was Vermaelen’s first goal since that 3-1 victory in February 2010 against Stoke in Britannia Stadium in a game that was marred by Ramsey’s horrific leg break. Vermaelen almost got his second in the second half when he nodded van Persie’s in-swinger just wide off the mark.

Koscielny assumed the role of a libero when he took the ball from Somen Tchoyi before feeding van Persie, and then continued his run forward. Van Persie returned the ball back to the centre back that was close to West Brom’s box but Olsson did well to block Kos for an easy catch for Foster.

Wenger brought on Tomas Rosicky and Yossi Benayoun for Ramsey and Gervinho and one of the substitutes had a hand in Arsenal’s third goal. It was the classic definition of a team goal with passes exchanged between Song, van Persie, Rosicky, van Persie again before it was converted with consummate ease by Mikel Arteta.

West Brom almost spoilt Arsenal’s party when Tchoyi was one-on-one with Wojciech Szczesny after a pass eluded Koscielny, but Vermaelen executed a perfect block to keep Arsenal’s clean sheet in check.

Szczesny (7.0) was relatively untroubled.

Jenkinson (8.5) produced his best performance in Arsenal colors and sent a lot of quality crosses into West Brom’s danger area.

Andre Santos (6.5) had a good day at the office.

Koscielny (8.0) put up a stellar performance and proved again why he’s to be selected above Per Mertesacker.

Vermaelen (8.5) was a colossus at the back and showed his eye for goal with a well-taken finish.

Song (7.5) was involved in the attacking play that led to two Arsenal goals.

Arteta (8.0) scored his first goal at the Emirates.

Ramsey (7.0) continued his fledgling Arsenal career with another improved performance.

Gervinho (6.5) didn’t really come into the party.

Walcott (6.5) had a shot that was saved which led to Arsenal’s first goal.

Van Persie (9.0) scored a goal and handed two assists. Another reason to forget Cesc Batman.

Rosicky (7.0) looked vibrant in his play.

Benayoun (7.0) showed good sleek movement.

Arshavin didn’t play long enough to get a Gooner Daily rating.

The international break beckons and all gooners will be hoping that Arsene Wenger’s men will go through the last international set of fixtures unscathed.

The playoffs for a place in next summer’s European Championships are up for grabs and Nigerians will be optimistic to see what the new manager Stephen Keshi has to offer as they take on Botswana and Zambia in friendly fixtures.

The fact that Nigeria missed out on the African Cup of Nations next January has been a bitter pill to swallow but we have to move on and look to the future.

The Sun is shining brightly at Arsenal Gotham again.

Gooners, forget about Cesc Batman, we’ve got Robin.

Sayonara.