13 Footballers You Wouldn't Want to Marry Your Sister

Footballers: we all know they are an overpaid, over-sexed bunch, but we excuse their sordid excesses (within reason) as long as their off-field behaviour has nothing to do with what happens on the pitch.

We may even find some of their misadventures amusing, or look upon the string of pop stars and glamour girls they date with some degree of envy, or even grudging respect.

However, how would you feel if your little sister brought one home? Would you be thinking about the free match tickets that would be coming your way, or worry about your sweet, innocent little sibling having her heart broken, or worse?

Here is a list of footballers—some with a history of philandering, others far more sinister—who you would not want as part of the family.

There is a certain responsibility that comes with marrying "the nation's sweetheart", and Cole severely neglected that responsibility.

Already a national hate figure due to his complaints in his autobiography about his wages at Arsenal, the England left-back was branded a money-grabber when he left the Gunners for Chelsea in 2006.

That same summer he married Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy, the doe-eyed pop star and talent show judge who can do no wrong in the eyes of the British public.

They were separated two years later after a string of tabloid revelations about Cole's philandering, culminating in the delightful tale of him vomiting before and during a one-night stand with a 22-year-old hairdresser.

Cheryl took him back, much to the surprise of everyone, but more stories of emerged of Cole texting nude pictures of himself to other girls, and they were officially divorced last year.

The Manchester United midfielder will forever be a legend on the pitch for his trophy-laden career which spans three decades, but his legacy off the field has been forever tarnished after startling revelations about his private life.

The Welshman's squeaky-clean image was first damaged earlier this year when the news emerged of a footballer taking out a High Court injunction stopping the reporting of their affair. A national guessing game ensued, although it did not last very long as Twitter and Internet forums buzz with the names of Giggs and former reality TV contestant Imogen Thomas.

Several newspapers—eager to win what was quickly becoming a landmark media privacy battle—dropped heavy hints without breaking the terms of the injunction.

It became the worst-kept secret in football, and once the injunction became redundant Giggs was exposed as the "love rat footballer", but there was worse to come. 

No sooner had those revelations been digested by a shocked British public than it emerged Giggs had been seeing his own sister-in-law behind his brother Rhodri's back for years.

Before Giggs, there was another top Premier League star who tried to go through the courts to gag the press from reporting his extra-marital shenanigans, with similarly disastrous results.

In January of last year it emerged that Terry had been having a lengthy affair with a French underwear model Vanessa Perroncel, who just happened to be the mother of Wayne Bridge's child.

Bridge and Terry became close friends while at Chelsea together, before Bridge moved up north to join Manchester City. Bridge had split up with Perroncel, but Terry wasted no time at all in moving in on his best mate's ex.

The scandal rumbled on for months and it eventually had footballing ramifications when Bridge took himself out of contention for the England squad at that summer's World Cup.

The pair now avoid shaking hands before any match when they are facing each other.

Sandwiched in between the scandals involving Terry and Giggs was another involving Wayne Rooney. 

The Manchester United and England striker was in the midst of a backlash from both media and public alike for his woeful World Cup and his huge wage demands from his club when the story broke that he had been cheating on his wife with an escort.

Jenny Thompson sold her story to the tabloids, revealing Rooney paid her 1,000-a-night on several occasions over the course of four months, and even took her for nights out in public, all while his wife was pregnant with their first child.

But perhaps the most stunning revelation of all from Thompson was that—while spending nights together in Manchester's posh Lowry Hotel—Rooney would happily pay £200 to have a pack of cigarettes delivered by room service.

'Super Mario' has already gone through quite a transformation in the eyes of the British press. When he first arrived at Manchester City he was characterised as a moody, moping idiot who was more trouble than he was worth.

A steady stream of ludicrous stories—breaking into a women's prison "out of curiosity", throwing darts at youth team players from a window, setting off fireworks in his own bathroom, that sort of thing—seemed to confirm as much. 

Mario became such a consistent generator of copy for the tabloids and fodder for the readers that everyone soon begun to warm to him, eagerly awaiting his next move. When that next move turned to be two goals in City's 6-1 mauling of Manchester United and revealing a t-shirt asking "Why always me?" after scoring the first, the transformation was complete.

However, let us not forget that, for a 21-year-old, he has already shown more than enough to prove he is not the kind of guy parents want their daughter bringing home.

For example, there was the time he told a girl back in Italy she was dumped via text message—unfortunately he did so just before she was due to appear on a prime time chat show, and she read the message out live on air. Then there was his relationship with glamour model Sophie Reade, who he cheated on with her best friend while they were both in the same flat. Most recently, he has been spotted out on the town with 32FF porn star Holly Henderson while his girlfriend was at home cooking his dinner.

He may be an infinite source of amusement, but best keep him as far away from your own life as possible.

When Drenthe came off the Everton bench in the game against Man City earlier this season, it is a miracle that the presence of both he and Balotelli on the same pitch at the same time did not cause the universe to implode, such is the combined force of unadulterated madness between them.

Drenthe was once one of the most highly-rated young players in Europe while at Feyenoord, but a rap sheet that includes crashing into a police car, karate kicking LA Galaxy's Juninho in the head during a preseason friendly, going on strike while on loan at Hercules from Real Madrid and launching a questionable rap career.

He is also a well-known lover of the ladies, so much so that he was once caught dallying with Spanish Playboy model Malena Garcia while his wife was pregnant with their second child.

His attitude towards fidelity can be summed up thusly; when once asked how often he had sex, Drenthe replied: "With my wife, you mean?" 

The football world has been united over the past week in wishing Milan striker Antonio Cassano a speedy recovery after the 29-year-old suffered a stroke. The former Sampdoria and Real Madrid forward is on the mend after a successful operation, and we all hope he can recover in time to feature for the Azzurri at Euro 2012.

Another reason why we should all hope he makes a full recovery is that he offers such amazing value off the pitch as well as on it. Need an example? OK, here's this from his 2008 autobiography, I'll Tell You Everything:

”To summarize, I had a few other adventures. Let’s say that between the 600 and 700 women I’ve been with, around 20 were from the show business world."

Oh, OK, one more:

"In Madrid... we were in a hotel, the whole squad and staff on one floor, so on the floors above or below you could invite whoever you wanted to meet you during the night. I made friends with one of the waiters. His job was to bring me three or four cornetti (croissant-like pastries) after I had sex. He would bring the cornetti to the stairs, I would bring the girl and we would make a trade: he took the girl, I stuffed myself with cornetti. Sex plus food, the perfect night.“

The former Manchester United, Aston Villa and Chelsea goalkeeper has certainly had a chequered past.

The Australian has championed the cause of Aussie blokedom throughout his career, such as the time he almost missed his (second) wedding day after being thrown in the drunk tank for an incident on his stag night.

Bosnich was fired by Chelsea for failing a drugs test in 2002, and his life later spiralled downwards into a 10-gram per day cocaine habit.

As for sexual misadventures he has had his fair share of those too, most notably the four-girl orgy he arranged with Aston Villa teammate Dwight Yorke, in which he cross-dressed while watching his mate get down and dirty. 

Fortunately for the tabloids, the boys had thought to hide a video camera in the room, so better to remember the whole thing and give the public a shot at seeing it for themselves one day, which they did.

Seeing as we mention Yorke, it would be churlish not to feature a man who deserves a place on this list in his own right.

The former Villa and Manchester United striker was nicknamed the 'Smiling Assassin' for the beaming grin he always wore, and no wonder: he certainly made the most of his status as a rich footballer when it came to attracting members of the opposite sex.

Yorke was one of the most famous footballers in England courtesy of his part in United's historic 1999 treble-winning side, but he later made the leap to the front pages because of his affair with glamour model Jordan. 

When Jordan became pregnant, Yorke disputed it was his until a paternity test proved it was his. Even after their son, Harvey, was born partially blind in 2002, Yorke still wanted nothing to do with the child, and the pair have only this year moved towards reconciliation.

Fortunately for the tabloids, the boys had thought to hide a video camera in the room, so better to remember the whole thing and give the public a shot at seeing it for themselves one day, which they did.

When Birmingham City signed the 31-year-old striker in the summer, many of the club's fans were in uproar, claiming the player brought shame upon the club. Whether you agree with that or not, it is not hard to see why people might object to King pulling on their club's shirt.

King has been in trouble with the law on numerous occasions for crimes ranging from the petty to the serious, and has spent time behind bars twice.

The first of those terms was in 2002 while he was at Gillingham, when he served five months of a nine-month sentence for receiving stolen goods.  

The second was far more serious, both in terms of the nature of the crime and his supposedly more mature years. In 2008 he hit a young woman who refused his advances in a Soho nightclub, breaking her nose. The striker was sentenced to 18 months in prison, and was sacked by his then club Wigan Athletic. 

Upon his release in the summer of 2010, Coventry City signed him up, and after a year there he moved across the Midlands to Birmingham.

Yorke and Bosnich are not the only footballers who wanted to commit their sordid sessions to video, not by a long shot.

One of the more shocking instances of footballers filming themselves getting up to no good involves goalkeeper Ben Alnwick, who at the time in 2006 was at Sunderland. 

Alnwick and a few of his friends filmed themselves messing around with a girl, while the guy holding the camera gave a running commentary as though they were doing their day job. The tape eventually surfaced on the Internet, as these things almost inevitably do.

The fiery Roy Keane was Alnwick's manager at Sunderland at the time, and soon enough he was shipped out of the club. Tottenham picked him up, but have since sent him out on seven different loan spells and have fielded him themselves just three times in four years.

The legendary former Bayern Munich and Germany goalkeeper may be 42 now, but don't think that would stop him going after someone half his age.

That is pretty much what he did in 2003 when—with his wife Simone heavily pregnant—Kahn left her for a 21-year-old nightclub hostess.

The media dubbed his new girlfriend "the pierced party chicken" and Kahn himself a "third-class adulterer", while Bayern general manager Uli Hoeness said Kahn's behaviour made him want to vomit.

Kahn's wife inexplicably took him back, but they divorced last year. Not one to mess about, Kahn remarried in July to blonde beauty Svenja (pictured), 12 years his junior.

'O Fenomeno' was a well-known party boy throughout his career. When you were as rich and famous as he was, and with so much time off due to injuries, he had to do something to occupy his time.

Steve McManaman said in the book 'El Macca', which documented his time playing for Real Madrid, that it was not an uncommon occurrence to pop round to Ronaldo's house and find him out, but with plenty of assorted babes and hangers-on keeping the place warm for him until he got back.

But Ronaldo's appetite got the better of him in 2008 when he took three girls back to his hotel room. Perhaps not able to believe his luck, he must not have been paying attention, because it was not until he had begun getting intimate with them that he discovered they were in fact all transvestites.

"This will stain me forever," said a weeping Ronaldo as he confessed.