2015: A Year of Highs and Lows

It’s been a while since I’ve bothered writing on here for both the community and Sindo Clogs. And now more than ever would be the best time to do so. For starters, there’s a shiny prize for this month; beyond that, there’s a few things I’d like to get off my chest. Not all of what’s stated will be pretty, but keep in mind that this is my personal growth in 2015. So with that noted, let’s begin.

One of the key things I’ve unfortunately learned the hard way this year, both in real life and online interaction, is you’re never safe from someone using you for selfish purposes. This'll be blatantly true for...just about everyone reading this; however, it's surprising to see how one's guard can be let down when you're in the driver's seat. For instance, this has come in the form of a former client essentially vowing to get us out of a prominent gated community we work in due to…unfortunate circumstances. Construction/Remodeling business can be very dicey, and we admittedly made mistakes on the job we tried our best to rectify, but to now have the abundant amount of sweat and time poured into a project and to feel as though NONE of that was worth anything—to the client—really stings. No matter what kind of effort you put forth nor how honest you try to be, some people just want to exploit you by repaying with a mere pittance of what they actually owe.

While much less worrisome, though still annoying, online interaction is another way I got a few gut punches (figuratively). N4G has had some rule changes this year and that hasn’t gone without notice from many users. Being a moderator there and at Techspy (currently), some people would approach me with certain issues. Even reports on another site discussed various topics and a reporter reached out to me several times throughout the year about this or that on N4G. Where I had hoped just typical conversation would be framed to open up dialogue turned out to just be used in order to put this sister site in the most humiliating light possible. It’s times like that where I’d ask myself: “what's the point?” Your words and deeds (no matter how respectful you’re attempting to be) are just manipulated to rally up contemptuous attitudes against your peers.

I know this is a hard pill to swallow, it was for me too, but I hope my experience shared here can be of some sort of warning to others. If you hold some sort of prominent position somewhere, regardless of how irrelevant it may seem, someone could just be looking at you as a target. Some means to their end. With that nasty bit out of the way, let’s move onto the good stuff!

One of my biggest positives as of this year is being more tech-savvy with my smartphone. Being able to open up different channels on Whatsapp and talk with other popular members of N4G can be nice—at times (hehe). Being able to open up another branch of communication and being able to talk more casually is something that I believe strengthens my relationship with them. I’m not exactly sure how they feel in return—I’m not able to talk all that often—but I truly hope they enjoy my company as well. With my recent purchase of a PS4 (co-owner of it with a friend), I hope to use the community wall as another method of improving relationships and getting to know other people. I just recently purchased it so I'm trying to get a hang of all the system's features.

Another great positive would be my expansion in gaming. Now that I own/co-own all of the 8th-gen consoles, I’ve been welcomed to a wealth of fun exclusives and multiplatform games. Storytelling is one aspect that really impressed this year. Whether it’s the AAA-industry attempts like The Witcher 3 that make the main plot and side quests segue into each other in such a natural fashion or the indie surprises like Her Story which brilliantly use a search engine as a method of non-linear storytelling, I’ve been left much more excited of where the industry’s heading in comparison to the end of 2014.

This expansion in gaming goes beyond what I’ve played but also stuff in games culture I’ve been able to consume and produce. I’ve been much more attentive in seeking out specific gaming commentators and their evaluations of design implementations, story, and whatever else. This has also encouraged me to create more of my own stuff, whether it be my own personal blogs, reviews, or even some stuff I made for N4G IndieMonth. In fact, I think my contributions have shot up ~25% compared to last year. While a bit frustrating having to deal with deadlines (even generous ones I'm bad with), finally being a part of IndieMonth was still a great treat. Looking at some titles in an "early-alpha" phase and interviewing one particular developer felt like a solid learning experience, even if the arduous task of transcribing a phone interview took a long time.

A part of me would even like to expand that beyond writing and into a video format like YouTube, or perhaps some sort of podcast. I can’t say for certain what the future holds but I’m certainly excited.

I also like to consider this a big year of growth for me from a political and spiritual respect. Watching all these fascinating debates and lectures from brilliant minds across different walks of life, beliefs, etc. is something I could recommend anyone should invest a whole weekend diving into. Whether challenging or affirming your perception of life, just the act of searching these topics out and wading through those discussions is something I haven’t felt this engaged in since later classes in my technical college (few years back). While engaging with anonymous others on certain platforms like YouTube can feel like a wash quite often, there can be some genuine back-and-forth arguments from time to time.

So I guess that’s my 2015. There’s been a lot of growth in my understanding of the world, some of which acquired through unfortunate personal circumstances. But as the saying goes: “a smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.”