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Manchester madness, mobs and the Mourinho mystery

Not even Manchester – a city which has lived through everything from George Best going Awol and Eric Cantona going piscatorial to Roy Keane going bonkers – has witnessed anything like the shenanigans that have embraced Wayne Rooney this past week.

It is hard to find better words to summarise developments than those used by Sir Alex Ferguson in somewhat less fraught circumstances more than a decade ago: "Football, bloody hell."

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